Some things just change the way we look at things and bring a paramount change.
Just few days back, I was caught in this surmise, confusion, self doubt and lack of trust around me. Everything seemed to be in bits and pieces and I seemed to be lost in some cave of darkness. Thats when I decided to take a break from usual, pull back from situation and re-assess my perspectives and motives.
I came across this book titled "Eat, Pray,Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert and 3 days of engrossed reading change my perspectives totally towards things and issues I've been struggling to address since long, as long as a year.
I suddenly feel more connected towards Cosmos and Universe, and my faith on spirituality re-emerges. Well, it's worth an argument to say that we often seek the road of spirituality/religion/ God in our weaker times, but here am I feeling stronger and more secure about myself.
Things like, "I am the way God has made me, I can amend myways but not be someone else " make a lot more difference. The beauty of the book lies in its to the root expression of how we feel, how we react, how we struggle to break free of the negative thoughts and brooding that encircle us and how we feel relieved by acts of letting go and forgiveness. How a memorandum of understanding cannot be signed between 2 parties post trauma and still, Cosmos can help in healing both the sides.
Pain/loss are part of everyone's life and they become difficult elements to be endured with for Super Sensitive Kids like me. But,then there's always a way out. Light is always, there, Hidden as they say.... And, now I finally seek it !!! Amen!!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The bliss of First love!
Strange though, but after five years,I still suddenly feel like talking about my first relationship... guess some days you want to feel EIGHTEEN again!.. or it is something, which I reflected before my eyes post watching "LAWS of ATTRACTION"
It all started with orkut, to say. I came across this pseudo intellectual profile, very similar to mine in terms of taste, approach and much more. The guy was a friend' friend... and I added, the first unknown person I added myself in my profile.
We started chatting online, shared a comfortable zone as had a common known node in between. Slowly and gradually, we started talking on phone. It was different and it was special, because it was first time. the feeling was not clear, but the very fact that there is something new and delightful to look forward to each moment was enjoyable in itself. The tiny winy sms'es on everything and anything, waiting for a sms in return, not replying to sms just to tease... it was all so special. Sitting and smiling all by myself all alone and running away from ground , just to gain some privacy in my thoughts and talks... it all seemed so mesmerising. The feeling was new and it was unknown. Having somebody outside college and somebody who talked beyond apparel and fashion was a good change in itself, especially for a techie freak like me.
Philosophy, literature, news, work, college, grades... we had a perspective on everything and points to agree and disgree on everthing. And utilising Hutch's free 100sms per day scheme was even more encouraging. I still remember, running to dark and lonely corners of college, rock gardens, sitting on benches in midnight when its chilly out and talking incessantly on phone. For a cut to cut talker on phone like me, holding phone for continuous two hours was pain but enjoyable pain.
And then, coming back to the room to resume work, putting headphones on my ears, listening to savage Garden, Backstreet Boys and Marc Anthony was like reaching heaven and meeting God itself. It was a state of ultimate bliss. I guess teenage love is like that. You have all time and free time for yourself to delve yourself in any fantasy for any amount of time.
I did not realise though, but the glow of bliss was evident in my softened approach to people, and my face.It was just glowing, though a stupid like me was last one to realise, but those who knew me as careless ones were first to notice and remark though still unaware of the reasons. I was happy always, nothing could make me unhappy, even the breakup with best friend.
Finding more about someone you like, thinking more about him, finding ways to make him happy and keep conversation going, it was always so exciting!
And, then I landed for a week's place in the land of no connectivity Hampi, yet it could not deter my excitement. I would walk 6 kms up the cliff just to get signal in morning and talk for those five min. and then access internet@ 70rs. per half an hour to leave a message on orkut. And, the best part was I was just happy, only happy and nothing else mattered.
But, then relationships are not a matter of liking and absorbing in thoughts, they need balance of thought and maturity too, which most of us dont carry in TEENS:).
I've been in other relationships post that, but the one that was first always remains special and full of innocence and devoid of expectations... they say love changes life... looking back, I cant afford to disagree, though I've been a feminist and a non conformist to it for quite long.
I happen to somehow remember lines from Taare Zameen Par, though it has no relation to what I've blabbered about " Love, saying that 'I care' has the medicinal power, it assures the child that come what may, I am going to be there, so what if things go wrong or you do wrong, I am going to be there"
Love and attention make a lot of difference, not only in a love couple relationship, but in all relationships we care for!!
It all started with orkut, to say. I came across this pseudo intellectual profile, very similar to mine in terms of taste, approach and much more. The guy was a friend' friend... and I added, the first unknown person I added myself in my profile.
We started chatting online, shared a comfortable zone as had a common known node in between. Slowly and gradually, we started talking on phone. It was different and it was special, because it was first time. the feeling was not clear, but the very fact that there is something new and delightful to look forward to each moment was enjoyable in itself. The tiny winy sms'es on everything and anything, waiting for a sms in return, not replying to sms just to tease... it was all so special. Sitting and smiling all by myself all alone and running away from ground , just to gain some privacy in my thoughts and talks... it all seemed so mesmerising. The feeling was new and it was unknown. Having somebody outside college and somebody who talked beyond apparel and fashion was a good change in itself, especially for a techie freak like me.
Philosophy, literature, news, work, college, grades... we had a perspective on everything and points to agree and disgree on everthing. And utilising Hutch's free 100sms per day scheme was even more encouraging. I still remember, running to dark and lonely corners of college, rock gardens, sitting on benches in midnight when its chilly out and talking incessantly on phone. For a cut to cut talker on phone like me, holding phone for continuous two hours was pain but enjoyable pain.
And then, coming back to the room to resume work, putting headphones on my ears, listening to savage Garden, Backstreet Boys and Marc Anthony was like reaching heaven and meeting God itself. It was a state of ultimate bliss. I guess teenage love is like that. You have all time and free time for yourself to delve yourself in any fantasy for any amount of time.
I did not realise though, but the glow of bliss was evident in my softened approach to people, and my face.It was just glowing, though a stupid like me was last one to realise, but those who knew me as careless ones were first to notice and remark though still unaware of the reasons. I was happy always, nothing could make me unhappy, even the breakup with best friend.
Finding more about someone you like, thinking more about him, finding ways to make him happy and keep conversation going, it was always so exciting!
And, then I landed for a week's place in the land of no connectivity Hampi, yet it could not deter my excitement. I would walk 6 kms up the cliff just to get signal in morning and talk for those five min. and then access internet@ 70rs. per half an hour to leave a message on orkut. And, the best part was I was just happy, only happy and nothing else mattered.
But, then relationships are not a matter of liking and absorbing in thoughts, they need balance of thought and maturity too, which most of us dont carry in TEENS:).
I've been in other relationships post that, but the one that was first always remains special and full of innocence and devoid of expectations... they say love changes life... looking back, I cant afford to disagree, though I've been a feminist and a non conformist to it for quite long.
I happen to somehow remember lines from Taare Zameen Par, though it has no relation to what I've blabbered about " Love, saying that 'I care' has the medicinal power, it assures the child that come what may, I am going to be there, so what if things go wrong or you do wrong, I am going to be there"
Love and attention make a lot of difference, not only in a love couple relationship, but in all relationships we care for!!
cravings :)
Drizzling rain, my feet dipped in sand and face towards sky... running from beach to my hotel, my feet caught in wet sand and I, trying hard to keep feet firm on sinking sand... wow!! Thunder stuck sky, rain drops patting against my cheeks and my hands folded around as if to protect myself from cold... running... rushing... and then, within 30 seconds as I realise folded hands will not help, I open my hands towards the sky around my shoulders as if to absorb the feeling of rain, the smell of wet sand and the sound of rain and thunder in me...!... and then i stop rushing... lalitha calling behind to rush... And I hardly pretending to hear... who wants to hear.. when rain sings in your hear and sea looks even more playful with drops patting on its belly :)
I hop, I dance, I smile... I circle around and I sing... I sing aloud... and then... I run and push others as well to do same.. seconds pass and all of us are smiling... runing and screaming... louder than thunder... and just enjoying!!
Minutes later, we walk back towards the hotel... feeling exhilarated and I singing Mark Anthony's " And I promise I didn't see it in your eyes... I cant believe it... I believe it.... How I wanted you sing with me in clear blue skies.... but I feel it.. when you sing with me"
Well... after all the regular changing and all... I sat by the lobby... watching the sea... feeling the wind and hearing the pitter patter of rain... smiling at myself... I started writing with a hot sip of tea!!... I swear I have never relished Ginger tea more than this ever before!!.. And then I realise its so beautiful... and I decide to have a house by sea side and have Mark Anthony playing in my house every time it rains :)
Well, thoughts rush too far for things which are natural and yet, seem distant :)
I am sure, I'll gratify this craving of mine.. as of now Chocolate Fantasy will do!!!
I hop, I dance, I smile... I circle around and I sing... I sing aloud... and then... I run and push others as well to do same.. seconds pass and all of us are smiling... runing and screaming... louder than thunder... and just enjoying!!
Minutes later, we walk back towards the hotel... feeling exhilarated and I singing Mark Anthony's " And I promise I didn't see it in your eyes... I cant believe it... I believe it.... How I wanted you sing with me in clear blue skies.... but I feel it.. when you sing with me"
Well... after all the regular changing and all... I sat by the lobby... watching the sea... feeling the wind and hearing the pitter patter of rain... smiling at myself... I started writing with a hot sip of tea!!... I swear I have never relished Ginger tea more than this ever before!!.. And then I realise its so beautiful... and I decide to have a house by sea side and have Mark Anthony playing in my house every time it rains :)
Well, thoughts rush too far for things which are natural and yet, seem distant :)
I am sure, I'll gratify this craving of mine.. as of now Chocolate Fantasy will do!!!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Life in Job :)
Well, 2.5 years in job is guess a long time to pen down what I do, how I do and how does it help for those I do. Well, this was a question which once I had tried addressing in my blog a year and half back, but had so many versions to conclude.
With twenty ten setting in, thought of penning it down with KISS philosophy, keeping it short and simple.
Well,
To introduce, I primarily plan everything, right from future success of a company through my share of inventory planning(its a exaggerated statement, so undertone it and read) to implementation planning(this is what I mostly do), which mark my words in crude terms is more important than anything else; just to clarify, implementation planning :)... and let me tell you, my only tool to do so is lowely, exciting, brick like, logic driven Microsoft Excel and my 6303 cell phone.
To follow, Wherever market goes, I follow. In short, I keep a track of my world, the world of retail in my colony, well that would be my specialised category in the territories I handle.
To do more, Multitasking, which I use as a synonym of co-ordinating between different departments.
Well, that should be enough of perspective into what I do!!!
But, its quite exciting at times to see the 123456 projected on excel sheet as some vague numbers turning into 213456 in reality. And I think to reach there as a continuous endeavor is what makes my job exciting. I love it. And maybe, its these continuous endeavors and challenges coupled with independence around, that keeps me going. Being the youngest has its own advantages of giving you privilege to be nitty and notorious, but well, all this keeps me going.
People often tell me to grow up, to be mature and not to be a kiddo. But, then for whatever changes I bring in me eventually, I dont want to lose the real me :)
Well, no gain is without pain, so thats quite obvious, but let me keep it for some other day!!!
Shabba Khair!!!
With twenty ten setting in, thought of penning it down with KISS philosophy, keeping it short and simple.
Well,
To introduce, I primarily plan everything, right from future success of a company through my share of inventory planning(its a exaggerated statement, so undertone it and read) to implementation planning(this is what I mostly do), which mark my words in crude terms is more important than anything else; just to clarify, implementation planning :)... and let me tell you, my only tool to do so is lowely, exciting, brick like, logic driven Microsoft Excel and my 6303 cell phone.
To follow, Wherever market goes, I follow. In short, I keep a track of my world, the world of retail in my colony, well that would be my specialised category in the territories I handle.
To do more, Multitasking, which I use as a synonym of co-ordinating between different departments.
Well, that should be enough of perspective into what I do!!!
But, its quite exciting at times to see the 123456 projected on excel sheet as some vague numbers turning into 213456 in reality. And I think to reach there as a continuous endeavor is what makes my job exciting. I love it. And maybe, its these continuous endeavors and challenges coupled with independence around, that keeps me going. Being the youngest has its own advantages of giving you privilege to be nitty and notorious, but well, all this keeps me going.
People often tell me to grow up, to be mature and not to be a kiddo. But, then for whatever changes I bring in me eventually, I dont want to lose the real me :)
Well, no gain is without pain, so thats quite obvious, but let me keep it for some other day!!!
Shabba Khair!!!
Break... Where are you!!!
Pari sat besides the river, staring at the deep and long current at the onset of dusk. She was feeling good, in fact very good. Life all of a sudden was simple and good in the peace of nature around. She was finding peace in the voice of insects, she was finding beauty in the stillness of water, she was finding her motive in the plants around. Every now and then, she'll throw a tiny pebble in the water and feel good at the concentric ripples which emerged.
Far away from the din and hectic pace of life, a sudden break was soothing and rejuvenating too!
Just few hours back, life was at its worst. Too much of mess around to handle, non stop phone calls, emotional turmoil of relationships, the heavy burden of one's own unmet expectations - it all seemed so complicated and she wanted to run away from it, she was becoming numb... and then, she got a call from her friend to spend weekend at this place, few kilometers away from city in the woods and hills.
And there she was, four hours from Bangalore into the deep woods in the arms of nature feeling the peace and love inside. Everything had come to a still. The wind seemed to sooth her, caress her - how much she longed those caring hands of her mother which used to comfort her after any stressful day. The wind seemed to talk to her, asking her to leave the baggage behind. She suddenly felt at ease with herself. Unsaid tears rolled through her eyes, but she was smiling.
She closed her eyes, as if to listen to herself. Her heart said, forget it, leave it, forgive, move on... for few seconds.. all these words seemed to cross her mind one after the other repeatedly. Simple words, yet they were making a lot of sense to her at this point of time. She took a deep breath, her eyes closed, as if somebody had placed a halo of light on her head and she was absorbing it. Minutes passed and she kept reflecting, with soft breeze by the river caressing her. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and she was feeling light, in fact good. As if Almighty Himself had come down and kissed her on her forehead. She could laugh to herself, to the world around. All the irritation, solitude and darkness within seemed to vanish. Such was the power of nature, and such was the effect.
One more day, and she was back to her office and her people in the same place. She was smiling, she was calm and she was positive. The best part, she knew she could handle it.
Sometimes, a break into unknown for a little while can help a lot... In reaching to oneself and releasing the toxic inside to feel the real you. :)
Far away from the din and hectic pace of life, a sudden break was soothing and rejuvenating too!
Just few hours back, life was at its worst. Too much of mess around to handle, non stop phone calls, emotional turmoil of relationships, the heavy burden of one's own unmet expectations - it all seemed so complicated and she wanted to run away from it, she was becoming numb... and then, she got a call from her friend to spend weekend at this place, few kilometers away from city in the woods and hills.
And there she was, four hours from Bangalore into the deep woods in the arms of nature feeling the peace and love inside. Everything had come to a still. The wind seemed to sooth her, caress her - how much she longed those caring hands of her mother which used to comfort her after any stressful day. The wind seemed to talk to her, asking her to leave the baggage behind. She suddenly felt at ease with herself. Unsaid tears rolled through her eyes, but she was smiling.
She closed her eyes, as if to listen to herself. Her heart said, forget it, leave it, forgive, move on... for few seconds.. all these words seemed to cross her mind one after the other repeatedly. Simple words, yet they were making a lot of sense to her at this point of time. She took a deep breath, her eyes closed, as if somebody had placed a halo of light on her head and she was absorbing it. Minutes passed and she kept reflecting, with soft breeze by the river caressing her. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and she was feeling light, in fact good. As if Almighty Himself had come down and kissed her on her forehead. She could laugh to herself, to the world around. All the irritation, solitude and darkness within seemed to vanish. Such was the power of nature, and such was the effect.
One more day, and she was back to her office and her people in the same place. She was smiling, she was calm and she was positive. The best part, she knew she could handle it.
Sometimes, a break into unknown for a little while can help a lot... In reaching to oneself and releasing the toxic inside to feel the real you. :)
What makes a GOOD LEADER?
Well, somehow, off lately, a lot of my interpersonal discussions/reading has made me reflect on this topic in a greater depth, that what is it, that ultimately defines a good leader or how can I align myself to be a better leader as I grow in life.
Knowledge, Skill Set, Interpersonal skills, Conflict management, Inflection point management,Mentoring, Crisis management, Team Building... What is it?
Most of the people today have a greater subset of the above mentioned qualities, yet many fail to be acknowledged or personified as good leaders or leaving a good mark in the minds of their followers as leaders. Very few actually remain in memories of people as good leaders, let me clarify I am not talking of only good human beings, but leaders here.
Off lately, I came across this book called "Go, Kiss the World" by Subroto Bagchi, wherein the author has mentioned insights into life of great professionals he worked with and what was remarkable about them.
Quoting few excerpts that really touched me:
While describing Aziz Premzi :
"A great leader has the capability to attract and retain talent that is better than him in many aspects. He does not get insecure when surrounding himself with a top performing team. Yet, the better the team, the higher the incidence of idiosyncrasy among team members.......
.....When we look to hire people, we invariably look for sameness. It is so much comfortable. But progress requires intelligent friction, push back points and healthy counterparts. The job of the leader is to build high personal comfort with contrarians who think differently, create alternative points to view and have the power to question the state of things"
Another referrence to leadership style of Mr.Ashok, of of co-members of Mind Tree:
" Sometimes, in times of crisis, managers psych themselves into believing that doomsday is near. They come and tell their leaders why a decision has to be taken based on only on the recommendation that they have made.'If we dont revise salaries now, we will not get anybody to join us.'If we donot agree to his terms, he will take us to court.; leaders are often rushed into decisions on hearing such statements.
Ashok taught me a leader must not take decisions under such fraught circumstances. Always insist on some more time so that you can take a considered view, stepping away from the moment of high emotion. No decision is without risk, but when you take the time to think things through, you take very few regrettable decisions."
And my favorite one regarding Mentoring:
"Learning gives us knowledge but it is good mentoring that gives us the ability to relate it to the real world; it helps us to learn life skills and moulds our attribute. The self - confidence that mentoring can generate is huge. The principles of mentoring a child and a budding professional are not different. It all begins with the magical sensation of someone reaching out and whispering into your ears, 'Yes, you can!'. This is when dreams are created , and bridges built, to reach beyond the realm of impossible."
This just reminds me of my mentor in my project days, who knowing that I was an inexperienced person, still went ahead and gave me confidence and direction to take charge of a Live project. The project unfortunately could not get to final stage of live implementation then owing to Budget constraints, yet the learning, perspective, enthusiasm and self confidence it generated in me as an individual is something I've always carried. I wish, the world creates many more such people and in case, I reach there, I also take the right path and not the path of treachery, insecurity and narrow mindedness.
With this in mind, I welcome New Year, hoping to develop myself into a much better individual.
Happy new Year!!!
Knowledge, Skill Set, Interpersonal skills, Conflict management, Inflection point management,Mentoring, Crisis management, Team Building... What is it?
Most of the people today have a greater subset of the above mentioned qualities, yet many fail to be acknowledged or personified as good leaders or leaving a good mark in the minds of their followers as leaders. Very few actually remain in memories of people as good leaders, let me clarify I am not talking of only good human beings, but leaders here.
Off lately, I came across this book called "Go, Kiss the World" by Subroto Bagchi, wherein the author has mentioned insights into life of great professionals he worked with and what was remarkable about them.
Quoting few excerpts that really touched me:
While describing Aziz Premzi :
"A great leader has the capability to attract and retain talent that is better than him in many aspects. He does not get insecure when surrounding himself with a top performing team. Yet, the better the team, the higher the incidence of idiosyncrasy among team members.......
.....When we look to hire people, we invariably look for sameness. It is so much comfortable. But progress requires intelligent friction, push back points and healthy counterparts. The job of the leader is to build high personal comfort with contrarians who think differently, create alternative points to view and have the power to question the state of things"
Another referrence to leadership style of Mr.Ashok, of of co-members of Mind Tree:
" Sometimes, in times of crisis, managers psych themselves into believing that doomsday is near. They come and tell their leaders why a decision has to be taken based on only on the recommendation that they have made.'If we dont revise salaries now, we will not get anybody to join us.'If we donot agree to his terms, he will take us to court.; leaders are often rushed into decisions on hearing such statements.
Ashok taught me a leader must not take decisions under such fraught circumstances. Always insist on some more time so that you can take a considered view, stepping away from the moment of high emotion. No decision is without risk, but when you take the time to think things through, you take very few regrettable decisions."
And my favorite one regarding Mentoring:
"Learning gives us knowledge but it is good mentoring that gives us the ability to relate it to the real world; it helps us to learn life skills and moulds our attribute. The self - confidence that mentoring can generate is huge. The principles of mentoring a child and a budding professional are not different. It all begins with the magical sensation of someone reaching out and whispering into your ears, 'Yes, you can!'. This is when dreams are created , and bridges built, to reach beyond the realm of impossible."
This just reminds me of my mentor in my project days, who knowing that I was an inexperienced person, still went ahead and gave me confidence and direction to take charge of a Live project. The project unfortunately could not get to final stage of live implementation then owing to Budget constraints, yet the learning, perspective, enthusiasm and self confidence it generated in me as an individual is something I've always carried. I wish, the world creates many more such people and in case, I reach there, I also take the right path and not the path of treachery, insecurity and narrow mindedness.
With this in mind, I welcome New Year, hoping to develop myself into a much better individual.
Happy new Year!!!
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